A few more days...

Just wanted to post a quick message to let everyone know that I'll be posting more entries to my blog in the coming days. I'll answer a lot of questions that people have been asking me over the past couple of months... Mainly why it has been so long since I last posted anything. Anyways I'm looking forward to having you continue this journey with me... There is so much more to tell.

Peace and Love,

Clev

Pennies for my Thoughts

So like I said before, I genuinely feel happy right now. As great as that is though, I still need to find a job! - Bills aren’t going to take care of themselves, I don’t think anyways. Not to mention the fact that I really need a haircut, unless I wanna go back to the shag!? The easiest and most logical thing for me would be to get a job serving somewhere, it’s one of things that I’m really good at. Although everyone, including myself, acknowledges that surrounding myself with alcohol, when I’m trying to cut it out altogether is a terrible idea. In spite of knowing this, I needed to get a job fairly soon, and nothing decent seemed to be available.- Something interesting about BC, it’s the most expensive province to live in, and yet the wages are the lowest?! - I’ve been told that this is because of the Asian and Indian immigrant populations that are willing to work for pennies on the dollar. - I headed to a local fine dining restaurant that was hiring, knowing that they’d probably offer me a job on the spot. The restaurant was called “Restaurant 62” and it was a very nice, quaint place, with only 5 servers on staff. Like I always do, I turned on the charm and walked in to talk to the manager. What happened next was pretty much to be expected. I started getting a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, definitely a sign that this wasn’t a good idea. I quickly reverted back to the old me... felt like crap on the inside, but kept up the superficial act on the outside. I continued with the entire interview knowing that I didn’t want to work there, but not saying a thing, but who would, right? - Not like I’m gonna stand up in the middle of the interview and say “I’m sorry, I get a bad feeling about this joint, peace out.” Anyways, they offered me the job and I told them that I could start next week, an obvious lie. - To me anyways. Guess I’m just going to keep on looking. So far the only job prospects I can find pay only about ten dollars an hour, which is almost two and a half times less than I made at RIM. But I might just have to put my pride aside and take an incredibly low paying job. ‘Cause at the end of the day, ten bucks an hour is better than no bucks an hour, right?

-Clev

Pursuing Happiness

Something interesting happened when I finished writing my story. I sat down and felt an emotion that I had not felt in some time. At first I wasn’t sure what the emotion was, usually it would be some sort of sadness or disappointment. But after a few minutes of sitting and thinking about it, I figured it out. I was truly and utterly happy. For the first time in year, I was HAPPY! How could this be though? I mean... I have no job (I like to say I’m “FUNemployed”) I have no money, I don’t have my BlackBerry, my car is still back in Ontario and I’m sleeping on a mattress in my cousins media room. Yet, in spite of all this, I truly feel the happiest I have in years. I think that goes to prove that you don’t need money and possessions to be happy. True, money certainly can help, especially when bills are piling up. But it’s definitely not a requirement for happiness. Often, too much of an emphasis on needing to obtain things in order to be happy. Have you ever said to yourself, “if I could just have this I would be so happy.” If I could just get that car, that job, that girl, etc. Why wait to be happy? Your wealth and possessions only make up a fraction of your happiness; pleasures of the moment will come and go. And more often than not, once you get whatever it is you’ve been holding out for, chances are that it probably didn’t make you any more happy. That’s because what you really wanted in order to be happy, wasn’t what you really needed. What you really needed was inside you all along, we just tend to forget that. Sometimes we need to completely let go of all our possessions, (Figuratively speaking of course... Keep the flat screen, it looks nice above your fireplace, I swear) strip ourselves to our foundation, and really look at our lives. Forget about everything and just let go. I think that’s what happened to me. I had everything stripped from me, bringing me down to my core. Forcing me to examine my life. And through my exploration, with (finally) nothing holding me back or dragging me down, I was able to find my happiness. Turns out he was there all along, just waiting to be called back out again.  

-Clev